Why I am here

I began writing poetry at an early age after my dad passed away, he died on my 11 birthday, to use poetry to get over a lot of obstacles in my life have helped me through many hard times ...

I have struggled with crippling social anxiety for 10 years and locked me inside my own shell, it took me sooo long to work my way up from the dark place I thought was so safe and sound ...

Apart from depression and anxiety, I've got a lot thrown at me in her lap through time, two years ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis (rare disease that women are incredibly painful at times)

In January this year I was admitted to the rheumatology department, where I was then diagnosed with fibromyalgia and MSS (muscle pain syndrome) this is very painful but something I have to learn to live with this too ..

This blog contains my poems I have written throughout the ages, this has become my way to overcome sadness and dark times ...

I use both good and bad to create something out of and this helps me to look ahead in life ..

So no matter what gets thrown into the lap of me so I'm a fighter I am stubborn and do not give up until I reach my goals, so now you know a bit who I am and why I'm here ..

COPYRIGHT! All poems, pictures that are posted on this page is not allowed to copy or take them as your own, please respect this .. Regards Melissa

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Change

I have cryed so many tears, and lived in fear..
But all of a sudden someone reach out a hand, I have been lost in the darkness for so long but now i know my way...

I have been a lost soul without any rest, now i can breath out and let it be in the past..
I have lived in the shadow of myself, now i will step out in the sun...

I have felt pain, sorrow, greef, now i will appreciate what we had forever and let go..
I wont forget get any of it but i will let past be in the past..

Every path you take you're leaving your legacy, you decide your own destiny..

I have been needy and greedy, but now i am ready to give, I have always let people treat me like shit, but no i am ready to put my boot down and say enough is enough!

I have been judgemental not only againts myself but others as well, but i will not judge
anymore i will leave that up to god..

I have told sweet little lies but in the end the lies become the truth...

I have had a closed heart but now i will give love a chance, I have felt like a cocoon now i feel free like a butterfly that are ready for changes..

I had forgotten now i remember,


Life is: Hope, Truth, Love, Smile, Happiness, Memories, Give, Help, Selfrespect, Sun, Flowers, Butterflies..

Written By Melissa

(Someone told me that life is for the living and that is what i am going to start do from now on... Cherish the life!)

(Have a open mind and be who you are, and always remember that people treats you the way you let them)

Happiness

Everybody try there whole life to pursuit happiness,

someone try to hard while others just expect it to come to them.

You just don't wake up one day and find happiness,

10 years of pain stream down my face, the past can never be erased

but you can always make the future better.

With no hope and no joy, i have been so far down i didn't know how low

until you came rescued me.

You will never find yourself again if you keep living in the past,

and no matter how hard you search you will never find happiness that last,

its like hunger, tired something you can feel but only for a breef moment

and then it is gone, so no matter what you must be going through

remember if you stop chasing it it will come back to you.

happiness is a mood not a destination.

Written By Melissa

Miracles

When the sun rises and shines bright over the ocean and the birds fly freely in the sky, when the rainbow look forward through the rain, when the snow falls on the ground and the ground is completely white, when thunder and lightning lit up the sky, when the flowers bloom and children dancing around, when all hope is gone, look up at the sky and know that regardless of weather and no matter what God will not abandon you .. He created the sea, birds, people, rain, snow, rainbow, and sun, and he can do miracles...

Written By Melissa

Dear God

Dear god, why does people have to suffer all around the world,
i see little children die from hunger and getting killed in war, little innocent kids
the world are so cruel and im tired of all this evil that lurks around every corner.

Dear god, i know that you can do wonder and even stop hunger, but why do you just sit up there
watching everyone suffer, i know one little change could make this world a beautiful place.

When you are a kid nothing else matters but the family and love we share to each other, but as we grow older we create lies and judgment over others, and do cruel things to one another, life is not joy anymore and we have to fight to survive.

I close my eyes and pray to you that you will take this hurt away, but even i know
you would never answer, i will still pray. I believe in you and your strength to overcome every opstical along the way, but now i am tired of this pain that devourer my heart and make me
afraid.

So god i look up on the sky one last time as i ask for you to take action, i know you can
and i know one day you will but maybe then it will be to late, many of my loved ones have passed away and i miss them so much, everyday i wish i could see their face again and only one more touch..

Please god make this pain go away and let us live in peace because i know its not to

late to do one last miracle to save the world as it is.

Written By Melissa

Tidens Løfte

Det vil nok ta en tid, å lege dine sår, så dype som dem er så tar det nok mer tid enn
år. Glede skal du få, men ingenting føles riktig siden ting er vansklig nå,
Du vil nok glemme ei, den flammen som en gang brant deg.

ildens intense varme som strømmet gjennom deg, nok tårer har du felt, du
skal finne veien nå, gjennom mørkets hindringer skal du med solthet gå,
du er så mye verdt la ingen si deg mot, du er ett unikt vesen og du fortjener noe stort.

Jeg vil love deg at du kan stole på meg, at en vakker dag da solen gryr skal du
på eventyr, mareritt tar slutt du finner motet frem, og tross for fortid skal du komme
deg på beina igjen.. Ingenting varer evig og ingenting er perfekt, verden kan slå deg rett ut

og det kommer ikke ann på hvor hardt den slår, men det kommer ann på hvor hardt du slår tilbake, ingenting kan slå deg ut som denne verden kan, men med ditt mot og uten frykt skal du finne veien fram.

Written By Melissa

Daddy's Little Girl

I am thinking about you today daddy, it's been so long since i have seen your face.. The day you died i was to young to understand, but i understand now daddy that you are gone and you never will come back to me, its seems like yesterday but its been 15 years my next birthday..

I remember when i was a little girl we were dancing together, you would hold me like i was a princess and lift me up in the air, you used to tickle me and i laughed so hard, those times are gone..

When you died a part of me died with you, and i will never be the same, but i try to held my head up high and smile, why you was taken from me i will never know.. But it's a reason for everything..

They told me if i wanted to see you before you was taking your last breath i needed to come straight away, so i got up of bed got my crayons and i painted you a picture, and got into my jewlery box and picked out a neckles to give to you..

It was a silver heart, and i broke it in two and wrote my name on the half i was giving to you, because i wanted you to take me with you.. When we got to the hospital my uncle told me you was in a deep coma..

I got into the the room were you lied on the bed, i hang the drawing on the wall and my uncle helped me get the neckles around your neck, and suddenly it was like the time stopped and you opened your eyes slowly and looked at me and smiled..

Maybe that was your way to say goodbye, i will never forget you and you are always kept in my heart, i still have the other half of the neckles and i will always be your little princess..

Love you Daddy<3

Written By Melissa

True Love

It's the middle of the night, and i am still awake, my mind is filled with thoughts,
in this time and in this hour i sit down and write these lines, its raining outside and its silent, not a sound
not a word to be spoken only the thoughts inside my head.
The sky is black and the ground its wet not a star in sight, what has happen to this world?
It use to be filled with happiness,hope,faith and love, now its filled with despair,hate,grief and sadness..
The beautiful flower lost its color and the petals are falling off one by one, it's not time to sit think about what this world
have become, but i can't help it.. It have been so much turning against me lately and i think im about to lose my shape, color and beauty, what is a human worth in this world without a smile to show?


It's like the world has devoured us completely and all that's left is shame, and hateful words... It's hard to survive in this
world and you can't wear your smile without fighting for it.. If it was not for love we all would be devoured by hate,greed and the world would go under in a blink of an eye.. Why are we here on earth? what is our purpose? That is a question we never get an answer for... Why we were placed on this earth to suffer and not knowing what for...
Seasons change winter to spring and days fly by so fast and we grow old in the end, so after we leave this world where do we go? Is it a place called heaven? is it a place called hell?


I wonder were we will end.. Maybe life is a test to see if we are strong enough to overcome our fears, and to learn how to love? And when we die maybe thats the paradise we all are longing for? It's in the middle of the night and i can't get to sleep too many thoughts running through my head.. Some i may never find the answer to, but i will live like the sun will never rise tomorrow, i will smile like i have never smiled and i will love you to the end of time, because without you in my life i would never learn to appreciate the smiles, happiness and love, i would only walk around with my eyes closed and my heart empty. Thank you for showing me what true love is, and let me vanish in your kiss, for without each other we would be alone and alone we would never find true love!

Written By Melissa